Michele Borba began effort or prosperity his career teaching in a classroom for children with severe learning or emotional difficulties. When he met each student, he was guided by a question. How can I help them shine? This project required patience, practice, and curiosity.
She paid close attention to the child in front of her, not to the child. Who said the school record or the previous teacher. Take Rick, a first-grader who was always by my side. But would never verbally say what he wanted or needed. Over time, she noticed him writing on his papers.
Later, she comfortably published her work for others to see, praised her creativity with other teachers nearby. And helped her parents find an after-school art club. Many years later, Borba received a letter from Rick now a professional artist thanking her. For the day she posted his photo on the bulletin board. That was the day I stopped worrying if the kids thought I was stupid.
Educational Psychologist and Character Development Specialist:
Borba, an educational psychologist, and character development specialist, recently published the book thrives. The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Other Shine. From his research and field experience, he identifies seven powerful traits that help children and adults develop throughout their lives: self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism.
- When she visits classrooms across the country this year on Zoom her kids tell her they’re rushing to leave, they’re exhausted and worried about their friend’s mental health. These are tough guys, she says, trying to meet the needs of the school, sports, work, family, and future college students. But Barbara warns that fatigue and prosperity are not synonymous.
- Children have a hard time keeping up with our unrealistic expectations of success. She says. And for this, adults must take responsibility. As we emerge from the pandemic, there is a lot of talk about getting back to normal. But maybe the old normal isn’t what we should be aiming for. “If one in five of our children was struggling with a mental health disorder before the pandemic, this crisis has only exacerbated it. We need to start growing them from the inside out.
- Children develop over time and it helps when the adults in their effort or prosperity, community service as role models and cheerleaders. For example, by giving Rick empathy, curiosity, and optimism for his future, Borba helped him develop the confidence and perseverance he needed to pursue something that mattered to him.
Help Them Find Joy and Purpose:
It is easier for children to persevere, feel optimistic about their future and develop self-confidence when engaged in important activities, a job that cuts their interest. Children grow up deliberately, says Borba. Thrives have a hobby, he says, They have something they can decompress. But when he asks teenagers, What are your hobbies? They often answer, What is a hobby? We do not have enough time for a hobby. The sense of purpose has been replaced by overwhelming to-do lists.
Instead of filling the children’s time with activities that we think they should do, he suggests that parents become observers. What activities seem to spark their child’s imagination or give them an extra spark of joy? What seems to boost their confidence, reduce stress or help them enjoy their company?
Find out what helps your child be the best version, Borba said, and then give them the freedom to continue these activities. This often requires us to set aside our expectations of what they should do. One way to help children find the spark is to introduce a range of new activities.
For Example A birdwatching morning, a zoom knitting lesson with a grandmother, a family martial arts lesson, an origami YouTube tutorial. When you find something that does not fall within your scope, find the mentor. It does not have to be expensive. It could be your neighbor. We do not cooperate enough with other parents. In a study of highly skilled mathematics, athletes, and musicians, psychologist Benjamin bloom found that adults would initially introduce activities, But a long time ago, the child attracted the parent,” Borba said, with parents constantly offering support. The lesson for parents today? Periodically go back and ask, Who’s pulling?
Effort or Prosperity
When children engage in activities that they consider personally important, they develop genuine self-confidence or This tacit inner recognition of who they are. Unlike self-esteem, which is often fueled by external validation, self-confidence is that inner joy that says, I did it. These activities also boost perseverance, because it is easier to overcome obstacles when you are motivated internally: “Kids are learning to say, it’s okay. Will move on. Failure simply means that I have to find another way out.
By the time they get to high school, many teens give up the activities and hobbies that brought them joy, telling researchers they have no time for other commitments and activities. According to Stanford Psychologist William Damon, about 20% of teens can be described as intentional. If your child seems busy. But not happy, Borba recommends that you sit down together and watch the show.
Can you cut Only one thing that is not really critical, but will be fed on time? When children find targeted activities, stress decreases, and love increases, and that is wonderful. Borba says his optimism for the future is based on the hundreds of teenagers he interviewed while writing this book. I cannot tell you how wonderful things the children did during covid, how much they cared about each other, the simple and ordinary things they did to help their friends, he said. It simply came to our notice then.
Now the adults have to get involved, listen to the children, and give them what they said they needed because this is where every child said they needed it: If we are the most effort or prosperity stressed generation on record, someone has to teach us how to be in the front.